The last two weeks, we’ve focused on emotional intelligence (EQ) in the workplace, and the foundation of EQ – self-awareness. The more aware you are of your emotions, the easier it is to regulate and control them. And that is the next pillar of EQ – self-management.
Because let’s be honest, the first role of a leader is to manage others. And how do you manage others, if you can’t manage yourself?
Why self-management matters
- Managing stress: Firstly, people with high EQ are able understand, anticipate and manage personal and work-related stressors effectively. I conduct numerous leadership assessment peer reviews for clients. The way a leader reacts in stressful situations is the most regular complaint – or compliment.
- Managing frustration and anger: Secondly – and equally commented on in leadership peer assessments – is the leader’s ability to express frustration and anger appropriately. It’s important, because this is where your emotions affect others when they are not controlled.
- Self-regulation: This is about the ability to calm yourself, whether alone or with others. It’s about your self-talk and what you advise yourself in any emotional situation.
- Making decisions in stressful situations: We are never going to escape stressful situations. However, the way we respond to them is what defines our EQ. It’s about demonstrating thoughtfulness, self-discipline and emotional control. And then taking a positive, bold next step.
Tips to improve self-management
- Develop habits of self-control and personal discipline. Once you discover what works for you, create a habit of doing it more often,
- Accept responsibility for your behaviour, communication, performance and your impact on others. Remember, there’s a consequence to every action and there’s no place for blame, excuses or denial.
- Create a sense of conscience, morality and integrity and act consistently with your personal values and principles. Always do the right thing, even when no one is watching.
- Determine personal boundaries and act assertively (rather than passively or aggressively). No is also an answer.
- Actively set goals and objectives. Likewise, support achievement with diligence, tenacity and the personal qualities necessary to succeed.
- Self-motivate. Generate a passion, excitement, enthusiasm as well as energy to pursue your goals.
- Be likeable. Cultivate eclectic interests, be nice, courteous and someone worth knowing.
- Have a maturity and seriousness of purpose. Provide inner direction and drive for curiosity, creativity and imagination.
- Manage stress, effort, time and impulsiveness.
- Plan. Have a sense of purpose, direction and focus.
- Maintain balance. In fact, you need to ensure you pursue objectives in diverse areas.
- Keep healthy. Manage wellness, exercise, diet, sleep and nutrition. These are all areas that only you can control.
- Actively make and execute decisions. If you think, feel and perform with the best information available, you will avoid regret, anxiety and worry.
Self-management and regulation is what we spend most of our adult life perfecting. It’s what maturity, experience and wisdom brings about. The more you focus on it, the quicker you achieve it. And when you can manage yourself, you have the foundation for managing others effectively, which is what business and leadership is all about.
More tips and strategies to improve self-management are shared in our interactive workshop on EQ. Contact me to arrange a workshop with your team.
Next week, we’ll focus on the next quadrant of EQ – social-awareness. Until then…
