You know those people that suck the energy out of you? The ones that you avoid, and dare not ask “How are you?” in case they tell you! Or the ones that need help, but never ask for it, never accept it, are a closed book? These people are not “supportable”, and simply impossible to coach.
With all the business and personal challenges we are currently facing, the majority of people I am seeing at the moment, who still have a positive outlook on life, feel supported. It’s not just because they have a coach or a good team, family and friends who keep them motivated and sane. It’s because they are “supportable.”
So how do you make sure you are supportable?
In order to be supportable, you’ve got to be open to it and put yourself out there. You have to enable people to support you. It’s quite natural to withdraw when life throws you a curve-ball. And it’s not a bad thing. It gives you an opportunity to reflect, get yourself together and process your plight privately. But if you retreat for too long, it’s harder to emerge from your deep dark hole. In order for people to support you, provide advice or coach you, they need to understand what the issues are. If you are not open and honest, you can’t be supported.
Positive people do not want to be surrounded by naysaying complainers and negativity. If you want to be influenced and supported by positive people, you’ve got to display some positivity yourself. And you need to respond positively to the support from those around you. When people physically see or emotionally feel that they are influencing you, they will do it more often and more regularly. When they feel they are flogging a dead horse, they will give up on you. Can you see how this can create a downward spiral?
Create a mastermind group
With today’s technology at our disposal, it’s easy to create a group of like-minded individuals who are in a similar role or industry, that you can support, and who can support you. This is a group that can meet regularly, brainstorm ideas, experiment with new strategies, learn from each other, assist in tough times, laugh and find reasons to celebrate. At the end of the day, you are not the only one going through change in business. Why should you navigate it alone?
When you find blame, make excuses or operate in denial, you are not supportable. It’s difficult to support someone who plays the victim. You can’t always control what happens to you, your business or the industry, but you can take responsibility for your choices, your actions and your attitude. When you take ownership of the situation rather than waiting for someone else to fix it, you become supportable.
There’s no doubt that the year ahead is going to be a tough one. You are not alone. Make sure you are supportable. People who feel supported have the winds at their backs. They cope better with stress, have more confidence to step outside their comfort zones and are much more likely to achieve their goals.
This is a good year to invest in my support as a business coach. In the words of Jerry Maguire… “Help me, help you!”